Tales from the Pit - A little too much information...

As I perused my copy of Nathaniel Hawthorne's Twice-Told Tales, I was mildly interested in the morality plays of the author while mostly put-off by the confusing nineteenth century vernacular and New England tongues which the author based from the early seventeenth century in certain tales of his. Nonetheless, it provided an insight into the foibles and morality of human beings as well as the constant tension of the role of faith in a Puritan setting versus the role of a common humanity.

This has absolutely nothing to do with the following tale. It was just an observation that I felt was rather keen.

It was the mid-afternoon and I had a steady stream of customers in and out but nothing entirely too overwhelming. As I glanced up from my reading, I noticed a shadow form in the vestibule moving towards the interior. Bracing myself for the incoming customer, I mechanically assumed my station.

The door opened and the customer walked in. I recognized her as one of my old regulars, middle-aged woman with dyed crimson hair and wrinkles forming around a visage that may have been at one point quite beautiful in her ephemeral youth.

"Hello, what will it be today?"
"Well, hmm. Let me see now." She wondered aloud, taking off her oversized sunglasses and glancing at the menu. I was internally betting if she would go for one of the fish baskets since she seemed to love fish the last few times she had been in here. Though it had been over a month since I had last seen her.

"Perhaps you should take a seat. I think this may be awhile." She replied, grinning as she continued her raking search.

I acknowledged and I sat down, opening my book to another one of Hawthorne's tales. No sooner had several seconds elapsed she finally made her decision.

"You know, I'll take the number one. The beef plate."
"Will that be all, ma'am?"
"Oh yes, that'll be fine."

I ran up her bill and send the order to the kitchen. After closing the till and handing her back her change, we began to make small talk. We talked about the weather and work. I learned that she was originally from New York and there was this place called Tony Roma's that served some of the best BBQ she ever had. I also learned something else as well.

"I had the rib plate last time I was here. It was a little bit tough on my teeth, which was a bit off-putting."
"Really now? That's rather unusual. Our ribs are generally tender."
"Well, you see, I have false teeth so it's a little tough on the teeth."
"...........Oh."
"And I thought they were baby-back when I saw them but I never saw that you said baby-back on your menu so it was my own false assumption."
"Er...yeah. Those are expensive...yeah...ribs..."

False teeth.

Wow. That just brings up a whole new string of What.The.Fuck moments in life.