A single, lone fat truck driver walked in in the early evening.
"Hi, how can I help you?"
"I'll take the beef plate and an iced tea."
"Okay. That'll be $11.41. GET ME A NUMBER ONE!"
"Oh, can I change that? I want a two-meat plate with sausage and beef."
"...Okay. MAKE THAT FIVE! SAUSAGE AND BEEF!"
"Sorry about that. I make my decisions like a woman. I change my mind a lot."
"Fascinating. I don't think most woman change their minds..."
"They have a hard time making up their minds, right? Am I right?"
"...I'm not inclined to comment."
"Hahaha. Are you married?"
"...What?!"
"WERE you married?"
"No...I haven't made a mistake yet...how old do you think I am?"
"I don't know, like 30...?"
"...30?!"
I'm not sure what's worse: the misogyny or the fact that I look like I'm frickin' THIRTY!
Monday, April 12, 2010
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Tales from the Pit - 10 Customer Types Part III
#8 - THE BLUE COLLAR WORKERS
Generally, these customers come in on their lunch breaks during the week. They may be working at the power plants in the area or the local offices nearby or the railroad lines that may run through the park. Aside from that, the description is generally basic and simple:
Overwhelmingly white, majority males.
Half may generally be covered in dirt, oil, stains, Lord knows what.
Prone to eating quickly and generally leaves within 15 minutes of sitting down.
Prone to being loud and possibly obnoxious.
Prone to eat generally anywhere from $6-$10 worth of food.
There's nothing to anecdotal to write about since many of my customers fall into this range. It's really all boring.
#7 - THE TRUCKER
Most truckers park in the back and generally come in to check things out at our restaurant. The overwhelming majority are male and mostly range from overweight to being morbidly obese. Also, there's a tendency to have an increase in body odor.
There also exists a tendency for many truckers to consider themselves good drivers. That tendency is entirely bullshit. A downed flagpole, several damaged lights, damage gas meters, twisted gates, etc. all attribute to that inherently presumptuous and deadly attitude. Seriously, truckers are dumb drivers.
The upside to all this? They pay a lot of money. A LOT of money. And they come back from time to time:
"Hi, how may I help-"
"I want 2 pounds of beef and 1 pound of sausage."
"Okay, you want....wait...2 pounds of beef and 1 pound of sausage?"
"Yeah. No sauce on any of it."
"Okay. Three pounds of meat?"
"Yes."
"Weren't you hear a few months ago..."
"Yeah, they changed some of my route so it's been awhile."
"Uh huh."
As a note, 1 lb of meat generally feeds 2-3 people.
Generally, these customers come in on their lunch breaks during the week. They may be working at the power plants in the area or the local offices nearby or the railroad lines that may run through the park. Aside from that, the description is generally basic and simple:
Overwhelmingly white, majority males.
Half may generally be covered in dirt, oil, stains, Lord knows what.
Prone to eating quickly and generally leaves within 15 minutes of sitting down.
Prone to being loud and possibly obnoxious.
Prone to eat generally anywhere from $6-$10 worth of food.
There's nothing to anecdotal to write about since many of my customers fall into this range. It's really all boring.
#7 - THE TRUCKER
Most truckers park in the back and generally come in to check things out at our restaurant. The overwhelming majority are male and mostly range from overweight to being morbidly obese. Also, there's a tendency to have an increase in body odor.
There also exists a tendency for many truckers to consider themselves good drivers. That tendency is entirely bullshit. A downed flagpole, several damaged lights, damage gas meters, twisted gates, etc. all attribute to that inherently presumptuous and deadly attitude. Seriously, truckers are dumb drivers.
The upside to all this? They pay a lot of money. A LOT of money. And they come back from time to time:
"Hi, how may I help-"
"I want 2 pounds of beef and 1 pound of sausage."
"Okay, you want....wait...2 pounds of beef and 1 pound of sausage?"
"Yeah. No sauce on any of it."
"Okay. Three pounds of meat?"
"Yes."
"Weren't you hear a few months ago..."
"Yeah, they changed some of my route so it's been awhile."
"Uh huh."
As a note, 1 lb of meat generally feeds 2-3 people.
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