Tales from the Pit - 10 Customer Types Part I

There are ten customer types which I have encountered during my time working. Actually, I really don't know how types of customers I encounter so I figured I'd entirely generalize and compact it all down into a nice, neat little package of ten. Because people looooooove lists.


#10 - THE ILLITERATES

Now, I know that the United States generally has a literacy rate of 97% and there are individuals out there who are unable to read, whether it is due to their lack of formal schooling, dyslexia, or human blindness. When you walk into a restaurant, it's generally assumed that you are able to drive and therefore able to ACTUALLY READ signs directing you. So really, people, is it that hard to read a menu for over a minute before you ask stupid questions such as the following:

"Do you guys have a combo with fries and a drink?"
"...Yes, it's the one that's labeled "with fries and a drink."

OR

"You guys have any beef?"
"...What are you looking for?"
"You know, brisket."
"...We have beef plates, beef sandwiches, beef by the pound..."
"Where?"
"...Up there...and over there."

OR

"What kind of restaurant is this?"
"...We're a BBQ restaurant." (Seriously, this has happened on more than one occasion.)

There are times when I will start to wonder if Darwin had it wrong that human beings actually evolved properly. Maybe he skipped some sub-evolutionary links. Oh, I know it's pretty mean-spirited as this is written but generally speaking, there's a substantial (i.e. TOTALLY COMPLETE) amount of truth to it. So really, restrain the mild indignation and the sanctimoniousness of a self-righteous position. Everybody lies and none of us are exempt. Unless you're Jesus at which point, we're pretty much shit out of luck!

Honestly, is it hard to read things in English?